Reflecting on How We Observe Memorial Day

Contemplating Our Memorial Day Traditions

Today, after writing this, I'll walk to Swiss Cottage station, take the Jubilee Line to Bond Street, and then head east on the Central Line. I'll emerge from London’s labyrinthine underground network in the shadow of St. Paul's Cathedral's towering dome. Once inside, I'll head to the eastern end of the building to find the American Memorial Chapel. This corner of the cathedral was destroyed during the Second World War, and the chapel was rebuilt to honor the Americans who died in the conflict.

This will be my place to reflect and mark the day. Memorial Day is both a national day of remembrance and a profoundly personal one. We each experience Memorial Day differently. However, regardless of how it is felt, it is a day when, as a nation, we step aside and take a few moments to remember.

Image: U.S. Air Force photo by Airman Juliana London

Certain memories always resurface each Memorial Day. I recall the moment I heard about the first member of my Officer Candidate School platoon who was killed in Iraq or Afghanistan. I remember the "hero flights" that brought fallen soldiers to our base at the start of their journey home. I think of the bracelets we wore, each inscribed with the name of a friend who had died too soon, and how few wrists were left bare during those years of war.

But these are my memories. Some of us do not have our own memories. They may be from today’s wars or those of the past. They may be poignant or fleeting. They may involve friends, siblings, sons, daughters, neighbors, or someone we only read about. It doesn’t matter. Today is the day we set aside to carry those memories forward.

And just as each American will uniquely experience Memorial Day, we will each observe it in our own way. I’ve attended a memorial service in a chapel on a small base in Baghdad; I’ve watched the sunset over the dusty plains of Helmand Province from a bunker; I’ve visited Arlington National Cemetery; and this year, I will go to a small memorial chapel in central London. Since I stopped wearing ACUs, much has changed in my life. Marking this day is something that never will.

Our calendar is filled with holidays that come with iconic and defining elements. Christmas has trees, Thanksgiving has turkeys, and Easter has eggs and a bunny. Memorial Day is a blank canvas, a day to remember in whatever way we see fit. Elderly people might tell stories about their friends to children, grandchildren, or great-grandchildren. Young veterans might send emails recalling “that one time” a certain friend did something great or funny or crazy before they were gone. Some people will visit cemeteries, others will spend some time alone, and still others will carve out a few moments amidst a chaotic, joyful day with family or friends to remember what today is about. It doesn’t matter how we do it. What matters is that we do it.

We don’t really say "Happy Memorial Day." It doesn’t feel right. So instead, on behalf of War on the Rocks, I just want to say that I hope you have had a good weekend and that you are all able to observe today in whatever way feels right to you. If it feels right, then it is the right way.

John Amble is the Editorial Director at the Modern War Institute at West Point. He is a military intelligence officer in the U.S. Army Reserve and a veteran of the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. He is the former Managing Editor of War on the Rocks.

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